Biden Belatedly Celebrates 81st Birthday by Bombing, Syria Iraq 85 Times


A US Department of Defense Spokesperson clarified that the number of bombing targets reflected the Presidents aspirations to survive a second term and reach the age of 85, the White House announced that it had bombed 85 targets in Iraq and Syria in response to attacks that killed three US military personnel in Jordan, in response to American military interventions across the Middle East and so on.

In a statement Secretary of State Anthony Blinken insisted the escalation was not an escalation, stating the bombings would stop as soon as all pushback against the United States imperialist ambitions ceased.