At a press conference Rep. Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) has accused Russian President Vladimir Putin of stealing her television remote. “Last night I went to watch ‘The Bachelor’ and my remote wasn’t where I left it last. This clearly is a plot by Russian agents to undermine the American people’s ability to keep informed with the love life of Joey Graziadei.”
A Pelosi spokesperson later released a statement that the television remote had been located by a deployment of Navy SEALs who found it under a couch cushion in Pelosi’s house.
In the meantime Nancy Pelosi had accused Victor Orban of stealing her matching socks, Xi Jinping of preventing her children from calling and Ali Khamenei for Pelosi burning her mouth on a hot pocket.