Sweden inched one step closer to joining NATO this week as Hungary remains the last party to ratify their accession. Fully embracing his reputation as a mercurial unreliable ally, authoritarian Prime Minister of Hungary Viktor Orban failed to live up to his promise to not be the last country to ratify Sweden’s application.
Turkey’s ratification comes after 20 months of delay from watermelon seller and fellow authoritarian Turkish President Recep Erdoğan, who ultimately settled for changes in domestic Swedish law, fighter jets and a pinkie promise that Sweden would support Turkey’s application to become the EU’s newest intransigent authoritarian troublemaker, giving Orban a run for his money.
The Swedish Foreign Minister Tobias Billström celebrated the decision in Ankara with the following statement “No cap, this delay shit was lame asf, but now Erdoğan is bussin’ and Turkey is the G.O.A.T. As for Orban, this is pretty sus and we’re looking forward to yeeting Hungary out of NATO, which has no room for Putin-stans. NATO slaps and we’re ready to get that drip.”