Senate Democrats today announced that they are close to negotiating a deal with Republicans to reduce the bare modicum of humanity employed in treating immigrants humanely in return for increased weapons procurement to support Israel’s genocide in Gaza.
Lead Democratic negotiator Connecticut Senator Chris Murphy explained “This is a slam dunk for Democrats. Rarely do we have the opportunity to trade away policies our constituents oppose in return for other policies our constituents oppose. This is a true breakthrough moment for Bipartisan politics that ensures that Democrats can directly undermine the very core of our political messaging on human rights and the inherent dignity of all peoples.”
At press time, Republicans were opposed to the bill because it didn’t include their preferred hunting season that would give each American the right to collect up to 10 immigrant scalps per day and turn them in at any Dave and Busters or Chuck E Cheese for tickets and prizes.