The Associated Press reports that Donald Trump has won the Republican Primary in New Hampshire. The win follows a speech last Wednesday in which Trump promoted his skill in distinguishing whales from giraffes and tigers. We were able to speak with a few Trump supporters to find out how this newly proclaimed skill played into their voting decision.
Joseph Gobbels of Manchester, NH explained “When it comes down to it, being able to distinguish between a giraffe and a whale is the most important criteria in a president. As we’ve seen this year, the whales are starting to attack our boats, if the president can’t tell what a whale is, how will he protect our precious supply of lamp oil?”
Janice Apple, a resident of Concord also supported Trump. For her, the issue wasn’t whales, but rather giraffes. “President Biden has done nothing to stop the scourge of illegal giraffe migration at our southern border. I haven’t seen him once explain that he is capable of distinguishing between a Giraffe and a Tiger - what is he hiding? This all really comes back to Hunter’s laptop which I’ve heard was full of photos of illegal giraffes.”