Republican voters are poised to select Former President and Future Prisoner Donald Trump for the 2024 Republican Primary as voters first choice Adolf Hitler was determined not to be eligible due to him being a dead German dictator.
We contacted RNC Chairwoman Ronna McDaniel for comment on the developing story and through a spokesperson she provided the following response. “Former President Trump, known for his racist rhetoric, corrupt governance and small hands seems to intuitively know how to tap into the racial resentment our little basket of deplorables just loves. While the voters are disappointed their first choice, Adolf Hilter, was unable to qualify for the ballot, we are confident that we can work hand in small strangely bloodied hand with our captive media outlets to drag Trump over the finish line just in time for him to report for prison on the first of his 93 felony charges for trying to overthrow the government during his own Beer Hall Putsch four years ago.”
The Vice Presidential candidate is still an open race with top contenders Former KKK Leader David Duke, a jar of non-Kosher pickles and Ginni Thomas.