Rookie Cop Chad Smith will be honored with the Rookie Cop of the Year award next week by the North Texas Policeman’s Benevolent Association. Chad set a new record for the Amarillo Police Department by shooting three unarmed residents during his first week on the job. We spoke with Amarillo Police Chief John Moustache about the pending award.
“Chad just started but hes a real hero to this community. He really took the lessons of his two days training to heart and did everything by the book. For each of these events within ten seconds of arriving on the scene Chad had identified a non-threatening object these criminal suspects were holding, verbally expressed fear for his life and discharged his firearm into their backs as they fled. Chad really went above and beyond, in these cases, making sure to falsify his reports, giving me the plausible deniability I needed to give him this award. We need more cops like Chad on the street.”
By press time, Chad had shot and killed a barista who allegedly attempted to assassinate him with a cup of coffee that was a bit too hot to drink right away.